grandma was the original icon. she deserves an iconic gift.
give her a watabish.
hand-painted pet portraits · from $29
watabish
iconic pets deserve iconic art. painted by me, approved by one very rude cat.
chief executive bish (unpaid)
the face of the brand
chikadee watabish, unfortunately
legally chikadee. watabish for the attitude. lynx point, ice-blue eyes, extra toes, zero thank-yous.
- job title
- chief executive bish
- hobbies
- gravity experiments
- love language
- acts of disservice
- contribution to laser fund
- $0 and attitude
gift guide for icons (and their pets)
it's giving iconic.
iconic people give iconic gifts. it's literally the rules.
get a watabish.
they've been serving looks for free. make it official.
give them a watabish.
the offer
$29
that's it. i'm not being humble, i'm being desperate.
collector's edition
the bish-signed edition
$55same hand-painted portrait, plus an official watabish paw print signature from the chief executive bish himself.
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1
send me your baby
a clear, well-lit photo of their face. cats, dogs, lizards, whatever. bish will be jealous regardless.
-
2
claim a slot & pay up ($29, or $55 if you're fancy)
pick a painting slot and pay by card at checkout. limited slots because i am one (1) person. every dollar goes straight into the laser fund™.
-
3
i paint it. by hand. with my hands.
acrylic on a 5×7 inch canvas · turnaround: about a week. emotional damage: included.
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4
we meet up for the hand-off
no shipping. we meet under a tree (a very nice one) and i hand your masterpiece over in person. then hang it, frame it, make it your lock screen. tag @watabish_.
the portfolio
real clients. real snoots. real paint.
free and pointless
play with the bish.
feed him, pet him, ask him for life advice. if you're lucky, he'll tolerate you.
earn his tolerance →watabishtolerance 0/10
oh. it's you.
kibble
pet
brush
nap
storytime (do not scroll)
the lore, in four acts
the layoff
got the 15-minute calendar invite. you know the one. walked out with a box and a dream.
the vision
bespoke cat products. inspired by the bish. the market is cats and the cats are ready.
the plot twist
bespoke requires a laser cutter. a laser cutter requires money. i have, as established, zero.
the comeback
i hand-paint your pet's headshot for $29. you get art. i get a laser. everyone heals.
the laser fund™
every $29 = one step closer to my destiny
raised: $[RAISED]
headshots painted: [COUNT]
goal: $[LASER GOAL]
the laser cutter is how the actual watabish products happen. bespoke cat stuff, made by me, cut by a beam of light. we are SO close (we are not close).
post-laser era (manifesting)
bespoke cat products for cats who are, frankly, a lot
cat furniture, cat playgrounds, and whatever else the bish demands next. designed by me, approved (begrudgingly) by him.
questions you're definitely asking
is this a scam?
no bestie. it's a fundraiser with extra steps and a cat.
why only $29??
art should be accessible. also i need volume. feeling generous? tips welcome. no pressure. (some pressure.) (unless?)
can i get my dog painted?
yes. the bish will be personally offended. that's between him and god.
what's "bish" short for?
it's a term of endearment. he earned it. we keep it kid-friendly here.
how long does it take?
about a week. i paint between serving the bish: 4am breakfast, surprise lap duty, and emotional support whenever a leaf moves.
do you ship?
nope. we meet under a tree and i hand it over in person. exact tree details after you book. your portrait deserves a ceremony, not a cardboard tube.
do it.
for the bish.
· booking opens a week out
· limited slots every week
· pay by card
· hand-off under a tree
pet headshot slot
$295×7 in · acrylic on canvas
[BOOKING CALENDAR EMBED GOES HERE — preview below]
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